Wednesday, September 30, 2009

How did I Get Here?

Losing weight is one of the most difficult tasks you will ever take on. To successfully lose weight you have to first know and come to terms with how you got to this point. Is it depression, anxiety, tragedy, or is it genetics?

For three years of my life I accumulated the pounds because I was severely depressed. I had thoughts of suicide and was on various antidepressants and nothing seemed to work. My depression was because of postpartum depression I never dealt with and marital problems. I would find myself eating anything and everything; an entire bag of cookies, a piece of pie for breakfast, ice cream, and drinking a gallon jug of sweet tea every two days. I had no motivation to do anything but take care of my kids. My doctor recommended time and again, exercise to release the anger, anxiety, and depression. He also encouraged writing in a journal and for three years I never listened to him and I continued taking medication. My children were on Christmas vacation this December, we were enjoying our Nintendo Wii, and I realized how seriously out of shape I was when I could hardly move my arms the next day. I was out of breath from playing the boxing game with my son. I went shopping for new clothes for my husband’s birthday party at my favorite store, I was trying on clothes and I realized I was in the largest size they carried and they didn't fit! I stood there looking in the mirror and just crying and thinking what has happened to me? How did I become this person that was starring back at me? Why did I let this happen? Especially with a family history of diabetes and four children to take care of and I was growing every year. I had gained over forty-three pounds in three years and average of 14 pounds a year.

Christmas 2008 at my highest weight of 178 and wearing a size 16. I looked like I was six months pregnant and weighed more here then I did when I had all four of my children.

From the day of my shopping trip I decided I was going to take control of my life and I was no longer going to let other people's actions control my life any longer. I realized that I am a good person, I wasn't worthless like I felt and I deserved to have a happy life. I purchased the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred from and I started working out 6 days a week using this DVD. I tell people this was the best $8.00 I ever spent in my life. I listened to Jillian's encouraging yet strong words as I was working out and I remember her saying, "I know you want to quit but don't give up." It was like she was really talking to me. I did want to quit but I also wanted a better life. I did the 30 Day Shred and started adding 45 minutes of the stationary bike afterwards. I started reading everything I could get my hands on concerning foods and I started counting calories. I visited webmd's website and realized that my BMI was considered obese. WOW! I took pictures of myself twice a month so I could see the progress. When people would notice that I was starting to lose weight it was like adding more fuel to my fire and really encouraged me to keep pushing myself. I love the person I am now and I love helping other moms feel great too.

I am asking you to ask yourself the same question, "How did I get here"? Write it down, sit down and really think about what events in your life have brought you to where you are today? Is it simply you just need to take control of your life or was it a tragedy that you never dealt with? You have to really dig deep and like I have said before hit the bottom of the barrel to start your weight loss journey. It is a journey of healing and it will take time and effort but you can do it. I know you can do it. Find support, use our group as your support, ask your family to jump on board with you, and do it now. It's your life and make the best most of it! Truly live it!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for posting this, it is definitely something I needed. I, like you, had to deal with this realization inside a little stall when none of the jeans fit. I bought the DVD over the weekend and have been looking up blogs that I can follow along that have mentioned Jillian Michaels and are actually doing it. I'll never forget the day my kids saw the pants and knew they didn't fit me as I laid them back on the shelf, or the day my daughter asked me after the birth of my 4th child if I gave birth why I still was pregnant. I want to lose the weight and I'm determined. Thank you for this post, it shows I'm defniitely not alone.